Wine Geek (Viniferous-Incredibilus) A person with an incredible appetite for everything related to wine. This individual can be socially awkward, and cares of nothing except wine.
Origin Around 4,000 B.C. in a dark cave near the village of Areni in Armenia. A curious figure is creating what is to become the oldest knownform of winemaking. The Wine Geek is born.
Activity Wine Geeks are most active when the sun begins to slip past the horizon. Sometimes they roam in packs, or as they say “tasting groups.” Look for the swirling of glasses and the constant sniffing. Approach with caution, if the ritualistic “Blind-Tasting” is in effect you might startle them.
Location In the urban landscape they can be found congregating at your local wine bar, such as The Twisted Vine in Fullerton. It’s also a common sight to see them perusing eclectic sommelier-driven wine lists like the one featured at Pizzeria Mozza in Newport Beach. In the wild you can find them scattered around the numerous wineries of the world; it is here they are most at home.
Conclusion Don’t be afraid of Wine Geeks, they are almost always harmless. When approaching one, if you mention anything grape, you will immediately gain all of their attention. If suddenly the conversation becomes tired you can always escape by praising beer.
Famous Wine Geeks in History
Thomas Jefferson This famous politician was well known for having an extravagant enthusiasm when it comes to wine. He turned the space below the White House’s West Wing into a cellar for 20,000 bottles. In addition to drinking, he had a love of Viticulture. This was embodied through a 1-acre vineyard on his private residence in Charlottesville, Va. Oh yeah, he was also the principle author of the Declaration of Independence.
Pliny the Elder Not the Imperial IPA from the Russian River Brewery! This enlightened fellow was the army commander for the ancient Roman Empire. In his free time he spent numerous hours studying and rating the native vines of his land. We can think of him as the original Robert Parker.
Napoleon Bonaparte Notoriously one of the most ambitious rulers of all time, who was Banished, not once but twice, to islands unknown. He also had an insatiable craving for wine. He’s responsible for the Napoleonic Code, which caused the majority of vineyards in Burgundy to become split by the relatives of the former owners. His favorite wines included Möet Chandon Champagne, Chambertin, and a dessert wine from South Africa Called Vin de Constance.