Orange Coast Magazine
 

Government Warnings on Wine Consumption

On the back of every bottle of wine there is an admonisher: GOVERNMENT WARNING: (1) According to the Surgeon General, women should not drink alcoholic beverages during pregnancy because of the risk of birth defects, (2) Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems.

It’s a little-known fact that a number of alternative warnings were proposed, but the government rejected them all for various reasons. I was able to dig up a few:

WARNING: The consumption of alcoholic beverages may cause pregnancy, but women who wouldn’t mind being pregnant are encouraged to try it.

WARNING: The consumption of alcoholic beverages may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster, and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcoholic beverages may give you the illusion that people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcoholic beverages may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think ex-lovers are dying for you to call them at 4 a.m.

WARNING: The consumption of alcoholic beverages may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcoholic beverages may cause you to repeatedly tell your friends you love them.

WARNING: The government is here to help and has the situation under control.

Leave a comment:

showing all comments · Subscribe to comments
  1. Jay Selman posted on 11/07/2013 08:39 AM
    WARNING: Stop! You are reading the wrong label. Turn bottle, start over.
showing all comments

Priscilla Mayfield on Food in Orange County

Wine Program Review

  • Seasons 52 Fresh Grill Offers Impressive Wine List

    I recently dined at Seasons 52 Fresh Grill in South Coast Plaza, and found the wine program to be exceptional, both for the scope of its extensive wine list, and it’s attentive wine service. It’s gratifying to see that the restaurant, which promotes a healthy diet and prides itself in seasonally inspired cooking with every item on the menu less than 475 calories, considers wine an important part of a wholesome lifestyle. Read More
 

grap radio

 
wine blog
 

stuff we love

Charitable Events Calendar

Close

Advertisement