Orange Coast Magazine
 

Clever, Sexy Wine Quotes

I am an inveterate collector, and I have quite a stash of wine quotes I’ve accumulated over the years. Some of the best relate to the connection between the sexes and wine, and I’d like to share them with you:

“There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of Champagne.”—Bette Davis

“Burgundy makes you think of silly things; Bordeaux makes you talk about them; Champagne makes you do them.”—Anonymous

“Describing great pinot noir is like trying to explain sex to a virgin.”—Prince of Pinot (Me)

“Burgundy is like the girl from Benington who made me miserable my sophomore year at Williams College: She keeps breaking my heart, but I’m obsessed, crazed with lust, spending ridiculous amounts of money on the object of my desire. Because when she’s good, she’s very, very good.”—Jan McInerney

“Wine quality is defined like pornography. We don’t know what it is, but we know it when we see it.”—Francis Percival

“Pink wine makes me slutty.”—Zooey Deschanel

“A wine journalist once said to me that she sometimes wished she could spend the whole of waking consciousness in the state of mind induced by exactly one glass of wine.”—Stuart Watton

“Wines are like women in that it’s often the imperfections that fascinate.”—Sam Neill

“Darling….Be natural, take your clothes off! Show me your terroir.”—Guillaume Jordan

“Let’s be honest: there’s only one activity more satisfying than drinking good wine with good food; and if you’re drinking wine in the right company, the one pleasure, more often than not, will lead to the other.”—Jan McInerney

“It (wine) provokes the desire, but takes away the performance.”—William Shakespeare

“Wine is like sex in that few men will admit not knowing all about it.”—Hugh Johnson

“A good man can make you feel sexy, strong, and able to take on the world....oh sorry....that's wine....wine does that.”—Anonymous

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  1. Eric Anderson posted on 10/25/2013 12:49 PM
    Not sexy, but my favorite and right up your alley is the cartoon caption by James Thurber, circa 1944: "It's a naïve domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption."
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